Okay. I lied. It's what I do. I know I said I was done, but here I am.

Holy shit. It's been one hell of semester, let alone one fucking hell of a year. It still amazes me that in just two weeks 2009 will be over. So much has happened over the last 12 months. No matter what happened, though, I wouldn't change any of it. All of what has happened has made become a better person. I am learning more of who I am and what I can do.

Well, the relationship with Shayla didn't really last that long. As happy as I was in the beginning, nothing really went anywhere. For me, at least. I swear, the way that girl reacted after I ended it, someone would've thought I just ended a 3 year relationship. But, in reality, we only dated for three months. I'm really hoping that after the break things will be better and she'll be....less crazy.

I've been thinking. I know, weird huh? But really, I have been thinking about how we go through life meeting people and then never seeing them again until some random moment and you don't recognize them and treat them as if they don't exist. Then they start talking to you as if you're really good friends and you're like, "Yeah. Sure. Whatever." I think I might actually create a New Years resolution this year. I want it to be something like, This New Year I want to remember people and treat each person I meet like everyone else I know, with respect. Let's hope it works.

Next year is going to be crazy. I've Grandma Dorothy's 90th birthday on New Year's Day. Justin has his wedding on the second. C's wedding is on July 4th. My 21st is just a few short weeks away. Plus, I'm hoping to get a summer intership.

I'm hoping one day will come and I will meet someone who makes me truly happy and will love me for me. But until that day, I must continue to be who I am and that is Timothy Fucking Joseph Joseph The Tank Ingersoll Lowndes. Goodnight.

P.S. Have I ever mentioned that my Dad really fucking pisses me off sometimes? If not, now I have. Thank you and goodnight.

...so catch me up on getting out of here.

Well, it's true what they say: "Be careful what you wish for, it just may come true." Shayla and her boyfriend broke up the other night. But nothing is happening between us, yet. We've agreed that it would be best for there to actually be some time after ending a seven year relationship before anything new happens. But, man, this girl is amazing. Short, funny, into so much of the same music, just fucking adorable, and the list goes on. Oh yeah, almost forgot... MY AGE. She just turned 21 last night.
Kind of sucks that I won't get to see her tomorrow at Shenanigans, but I'll be with Justin and Ellie and possibly Katie seeing Mars Volta for free. That just makes me love my job at the station even more. It's gonna be epic.
Speaking of epic. This weekend was pretty sweet. Matt came up on Friday and we partied with Justin, Ellie, Katie, Eric, and Bruce. The last night I went to CoMo and hung out with Adam, Brigid, Becca, Cortney, Trent, Lewis, and Maggie. Today, played disc golf with Adam and Trent. I'm getting pretty good; and Adam is thinking of giving me some of his retired discs, which is awesome.
Well, I've come to the conclusion that this is my last post here on deviantART. I think it's time for me to abandon this site and move on. Goodnight and Goodbye.

Man, this is looking to be an epic year. I'm excited. I'm on a hall with a bunch of friends. I'm got my brother as my suitemate. I'm happy...for the most part. This weekend is going to be pretty sweet. Buzz Beachball Friday. Hanging out with Anna Saturday. Hanging out with Adam, Brigid, and whoever else Saturday night. Then driving my ass up to Omaha at 7 in the morning Sunday to visit family and help Grandma and Grandpa finish moving in. Then Monday I have my first official rehearsal with Shenanigans.

I'm really enjoying French. I've already learned a lot from the few classes I've already had. I really like my French name, Pierre. I wanted Francois, but Jerry wanted it too so I let him have it. I've still got the 3 to 7 shift on the weekends for the station. I really wish I was 21 so I could go to that frickin' Back Door Slam concert. But it's cool cause Jon says that Davey and the band will stop by the studio before the show.

Matt's coming to visit next friday. I think I'm going to make my way to Pitt by October. I'm really happy that Manarchy has risen once again.

I can't believe I found this perfect girl and the only that is stopping anything from happening is the fact she has a boyfriend that she has been dating since middle school. I think it's time for them to go on a break and give another brotha a shot.

Oh well, it's time to TRY and get some sleep.

Dear Journal,
I have had a lot on mind lately and as much I told myself that I wasn't going to log on, I feel like if I don't write I might implode.
Summer classes are over which means that it's getting closer and closer to the end of the summer and the beginning of school. It's weird. Out of all the past summers, I feel like this is the first one that I truly feel like I'm not ready for it to end. I know that my friends will only be an hour and a half away and I'll be visiting them more than last year (especially second semester) but I still feel like I need about another month of summer to be truly satisfied. There are a few things that I am looking forward to in the fall; french class, single room, being on a floor full of people I know.
Although I've seen a lot of people this summer, I feel like I missed out on seeing a lot more: Mitch, Justin, Laura, Denise, and Koby.
I was talking with Mom the other night. I don't think it will hit me like Grandpa Tom, may he rest in peace, when it happens. His was a different situation. She is turning 90 on New Years day and he isn't much younger. Still, it's weird that they're planning. I'm not sure how I'll feel when it does happen.
Have you ever been happy one moment and feel completely empty the next? I've been getting that quite a bit lately. I have no idea why, it's weird.
I've been having a really good week. I saw Anna on Sunday and I finally got that stupid metal piece out of my ear so I could put in my own earring. I worked a bit. Smoked hookah and some GREAT discussions with Adam and Brigid. And then last night, Adam and Mike came over and we played about 2-3 hours of poker and then played quarters with the poker chips. For never had played before, I did pretty fucking good.
I've decided that I'm going to try and cut back on my sarcasm and smart-assness. Sydney says I shouldn't, but I don't know, we'll see. I just think that it's time to start acting my age.
Speaking of acting my age; that reminds me. I'M GOING TO FUCKING BUZZ BEACHBALL. Aghhh I'm soo excited. It's been what, three years since the last one? It's going to be fucking tight. Blink, TBS, Weezer, Republic Tigers, Company of Thieves, and Mac Lethal. Epic line-up.
Alright, well, I have to go. I think Adam, Brigid and I are going to try and go the Nelson before World's of Fun.


Quote of the day: "Sometimes I lay under the moon, and thank God I'm breathing. And then I pray, 'Don't take me soon, cause I am here for a reason.' Sometimes in my tears I drown, but I never let it get me down. So when negativity surrounds, I know someday it'll all turn around."

Holy fuck. Could things be going any better? Besides the whole being single thing, I don't think so. Let me just say that I have some of the craziest and best motherfucking friends on the planet (or in Ben's case, in the solar system). This past weekend was... I don't even know how to explain it. It's too complex to just give it a simple adjective like "amazing" or "awesome". But I will say this; I really hope that this past weekend becomes an annual thing. The scenery was beautiful. I got a REALLY nice tan. I worked on my arms. I drank beer. I smoked out of a bong. It was just a really fucking good weekend.

I'm really happy. And it makes me even more happy to know that I'm happy. Everything just seems to be going my way. Classes are going well, even though my ADD kind of kicks in since they are each 2.5 hours long. I'm working with my friends doing odd lawn jobs and I'm making $10-12 an hour. Since I've been back from Boston, there has yet to have been a night where I find myself sitting at home, bored. I'm either hanging out with Adam, Becca, Lexi, or various people in between. I'm only just over 6 months before my 21st. THAT, I am excited for. I haven't decided what I want to do for though. It's kind of tricky since it's on a Sunday. But, I have time to plan it.

I'm trying really hard, and succeeding very well, to not let any drama try to ruin my summer. It's going too well for me to let that happen. I have my VIP voucher for Warped. All I have to do is purchase my ticket. There are so many concerts coming up that I want to go to. There's possibly Shiny Toy Guns(but that's in Columbia and I have class...), Boys Like Girls, Flyleaf, and Green Day.

Goals for the kind-of-sort-of-not-really near future:

Study abroad in Scotland for an entire school year
Live to become 21 and have a legal beer with my dad
Go to back to school in the fall and have my own room and take Elementary French I
Go to Warped Tour and meet as many bands as possible
Get other ear pierced
Get new tattoo for Grandpa Tom